


To Enter or Not To Enter?

by fluffmonsterc3



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Facial, Humor, Implied Relationships, M/M, Misfire fill, Multi, Other, Rough Sex, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 18:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffmonsterc3/pseuds/fluffmonsterc3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quick and dirty humorous story about how Tony reacts to the shocking knowledge that he isn't the kinkiest one in the Tower. Written as a misfire fill that I did for the Avengers kink meme round 10.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Enter or Not To Enter?

\--

A particularly loud moan through the closed door interrupted the group huddled outside it.

"Oooh!"

Tony smirked lecherously. Steve blushed and shuffled awkwardly. Thor blinked. Bruce glanced at Tony, then was the voice of reason.

"So, are we going to get back to our movie or just stand in the hallway arguing over who's in Clint's room?"

Steve opened his mouth, but Tony was faster.

He even rose his hand a little. "I vote for arguing over who's in the bird's nest." He grinned. "It's much more interesting than The Notebook."

Thor pouted. "But what of Lady Allie? She knows not of sir Noah's everlasting love for her!" He grabbed Tony's shoulders and shook (lightly, for Thor). "Her mother kept the letters, Tony! SHE KNOWS NOT OF HIS LOVE!"

Bruce laid a hand on Thor's shoulder, and he let go of Tony, who brushed the invisible dust off of himself and sighed.

"Alright, who votes for finishing The Notebook?"

Thor was the first to raise his hand, quickly followed by Steve.

"Seconding!"

Tony sighed and looked to Bruce, his science bro, his confidante, the one guy he could always count on--Why was he just scowling?

Tony shrugged. "What?"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "You really think I'd rather stand out here and listen to Clint and who knows who else" - (Tony mumbled, "all know it's Natasha") - "doing who knows what than see a highly stylized, crammed with A-listers to avoid a good script, sappy, stereotypical, cookie-cutter chick-flick of a movie?"

Tony widened his eyes in hopefulness, not unlike a puppy. But he was to be disappointed.

"Like hell."

Tony deflated. "Awwww. C'mon, you guys!"

"No." Bruce said, nodding to Steve and a very excited Thor as they filed out of the hallway and back to the livingroom with the plan to turn up the volume so as not to be interrupted by loud and awkward noises.

Tony didn't stomp his foot, but it was a close thing. Then Natasha rounded the corner with something in her hand.

Tony, a little flabbergasted that she was outside and not making Clint make those obvious sex noises, could only point and ask, "Is that whipped cream?"

Natasha didn't say anything, simply staring him down as she walked to the room, eyes hard and unreadable to where they could mean anything--it made Tony tense and a cold wind creep up his spine. Then Natasha, still holding his gaze, opened the door and backed into it, closing and locking it audibly.

Then Tony heard it: there were two male voices in there. His face contorted into abject horror.

COULSON WAS HAVING A THREESOME AND TONY FUCKING STARK WAS WATCHING THE NOTEBOOK!!

When did his life get so blasé?

Tony, a man on a mission, thundered into the livingroom, pulling off clothes as he went, huffing and mumbling, to where he was completely naked when he reached the couch.

Bruce peered up at Tony's heaving chest. "Feeling inadequate because Clint is having better sex than you?"

Tony scowled. "Bend me over the couch while Thor cums over my face or I won't buy you any more weed."

Bruce sighed, but stood. Thor pointed to the movie and whined, "B-but!"

"I'll get you an interview with Rachel McAdams AND fuckin' Ryan Gosling, just PLEASE don't make me be the vanilla one in this tower!" Tony pleaded, rolling back into Bruce's hard grip.

Thor looked like it was some Asgardian holiday, and stood abruptly. "I shall aid you in this endeavor, shield brother. For Lady McAdams and Sir Gosling!" And Thor was naked and pumping.

Steve had already left the room, and was currently involved in a conversation with JARVIS about sex-addict therapy for Stark. He would not be successful, since Tony would eventually be found out to have seduced and slept with every one of them.

\--


End file.
